That morning I woke up in your arms after having the most vivid dream. It was about our future: our wedding, Italy, kids, sheer happiness. It felt as familiar to me as if it had already happened. When I met you, I thought I was done you were the man I had been waiting my entire life for.
But, I know now that you weren’t the ending but my beginning.
I had forgotten…
you made me remember.
Remember…the very thing I had somehow lost (without even realizing it).
You reignited something in me. You brought out the fire inside of me again like the jaws of life rescuing me from an ordinary existence. Even that concept of an ordinary existence makes my skin crawl. But a mediocre life was never in my cards. Meeting you made me realize how truly complacent I had allowed myself to become. But to be clear you are not responsible for giving me the fire, that I was born with. Too many lack luster relationships has simmered that fire inside me. But meeting you changed me. There was something about you or something about you and I together, a connection, that seemed to take on a whole life of its own. Funny how that energy made me do and say things that surprised even myself. How easy it felt to completely lose myself in you, was both unnerving and freeing at the same time. I got so caught up in being 100% transparent with you that I neglected to notice all the things you weren’t saying.
And it’s pretty odd to look back and acknowledge how very little I know about you. You were attracted to the challenge. Addicted to the false pursuit of an ideal. But, here’s the thing, when I look back at our relationship I can say I was 100% myself. I was exactly who I purported to be. Can you say the same thing? And you’re right it would never have worked out between us. But a small part of me will always wonder. I’m not the same woman I was 2 months ago when you broke up with me. We made jokes about me being a writer but oddly what came out of meeting you was finally finding the power of my voice. I will always remember what we had rather than what we didn’t. You mentioned in your email to me that you hoped I would turn the hurt into something positive.
And I started writing. Really writing.
Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
By Ryan O’ Connell
1. In NYC, you’re only allowed to be an asshole if you’re interesting. You have to earn the privilege of behaving like a dick. In LA, however, you can just be a dick. No funny jokes or good personalities needed.
2. Los Angeles is the land of delusions. You can live your life thinking you’re the best invention since sliced bread and no one will question your self-importance. New York is different though. Living here basically entails being humiliated on a daily basis. It’s like being served a slice of humble pie over and over again. So even if you do develop an ego and start to think you’re the shit, there will always be something waiting to bring you back down to Earth.
3. The standards of beauty in L.A. are wildly different from New York’s. L.A. is all about looking healthy, refreshed and athletic. Juice cleanses (aka starvation), hikes up Runyon Canyon (three times in one day), and a natural tan (secretly produced in a tanning bed). Meanwhile, New Yorkers want to look they’re on the verge of death 24/7. To achieve this look, they make sure their skin resembles that of a corpse and flaunt their malnourished figure proudly. “No, honey, this body was not brought to you by exercise and kale…”
4. People in Los Angeles are always between projects. Ask them what they do for a living and you will NEVER get a straight answer. They work in the entertainment industry? They’re a pet psychic? They’re someone’s life coach? Oh, but they’re thisclose to getting a deal with so-so, which will catapult them to overnight fame. With New York, it’s like, you better be doing something fantastic with your life because people don’t just move here and hemorrhage money just to be between projects.
5. People in L.A. always say that they want to move to New York one day. “It’s been a dream! I’m just so jealous that you get to live there!” It’s as if New York is some untouchable entity that employs a lottery to decide who gets to live here. New Yorkers, on the other hand, constantly talk about leaving the city. “But I could never move to L.A., ugh. I hate it there. OMG, maybe SF though. I’ve never been but I think I would love it!”
6. Living in L.A. is such a pain in the ass logistically that if you manage to do it, you can live pretty much anywhere else and it’ll be considered an improvement. New Yorkers are screwed though. They really can’t go anywhere else. The city turns them into Martians that don’t translate outside of the metropolitan area.
8. In New York, you’re considered wealthy if you have a dishwasher in your apartment. In L.A., you’re rich if you live in a mansion.
9. L.A. feels like a Xanax, like your limbs have been dipped in a vat of pudding. You’re always weirdly sleepy, even though you haven’t really done anything. Perhaps it’s because the sun is always beating down on you?
10. L.A. knows how to make a good salad. New York knows how to make a good bagel. Somehow this crucial difference is more telling than anything else.
TO REALIZE: The value of ten years
Ask a newly divorced couple.
TO REALIZE: The value of four years
Ask a graduate.
TO REALIZE: the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
TO REALIZE: The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still-born.
TO REALIZE: The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
TO REALIZE: The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
TO REALIZE: The value of a second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
TO REALIZE: The value of a friend:
Lose one. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.