My Kamikaze Mission (otherwise known as my last relationship)


Written by Author, Dear Thor

Take lawyer dude, Fred, who asked me the inevitable 3rd date question, “when was your last relationship?” I retell the sordid story of betrayal like a stoic war vet, who just feels lucky to have made it through in one piece. Midway through the story he blurted out, “wow. And you still went back to him even after__, sounds like you were on a real Kamikaze mission.” Suddenly, I realized how absurd this story must sound about the girl that runs towards (not away from) danger? Like a Kamikaze pilot, we both knew it was a suicide mission, but proceed anyway.

Growing up in California, I was taught from a young age what to do in the event of an earthquake. In school we practiced earthquake safety drills every couple of months. Have I done one too many earthquake drills that I’ve somehow adopted the “stop, drop, and take cover” protocol to past relationships as well?

 

The forgotten art form of full disclosure



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The age old question in online dating, “just how accurate should I be in my online dating profile?” Is there a grey zone?

If women tend to lie about their weight and men about their height, where do you draw the line about what is acceptable to lie about?

Recently, I was matched up with a friend’s ex on Jdate (in real life he’s a 46-years-old, divorced father with 3 kids). However, his online dating profile states he’s a 40-years-old with no kids. Boy, is his next date in for a shock….

When you first begin dating someone, isn’t full disclosure the best policy? Or is it? It hasn’t been for the last couple of guys that I’ve dated, who have all had highly complicated relationships with the truth. I dated Ari for a couple of months before finding out he was significantly older then his profile had stated.

When Jeremy said he was a “recovering” alcoholic what he meant to say was that he was “currently” an alcoholic.

Ty’s version of “newly promoted” was a polite way of saying “currently unemployed.”

Tom told me his kids live with him every “other” weekend. Every “other” weekend turned out to be code for they live with me “full time.”

You say Potato, I say Potato.

Keith told me he volunteered for “charity.” Keith’s version of “charity” turned out to be what other people refer to as “selling pot.”

Alan told me he had an “amicable” divorce. A more accurate description would have been, “I’m still bitter and I’ll spend our entire relationship telling you all about it.”

My best friend recently confessed to me that when she first met me – she didn’t like me. Her first impression was that I was fake because “no one could possibly have as much energy as I did.”

17 years of friendship later, she said, “it turns out I am exactly the person whom I first purported to be (apparently an extrovert with that much energy).” I told her that was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.

But the whole concept made me wonder about who else I could say that about?

I prayed to the universe for a different type of man. The type that would disclose everything from the onset.

But, you know what they say…be careful what you wish for…

High Emotional vs. High Financial Maintenance


A man once told me all women are either high “emotional” or “financial” maintenance.

And certain women are both.

He told me that men are simple creatures. They just want to be fed and feel appreciated. He went on to say most men prefer a woman who is high “financial” maintenance because (as long as you have money) there’s always an easy solution. If you throw enough money at the problem–she’s be happy.

But then there’s the women classified as high “emotional” maintenance. These women are much trickier to please. She’d rather you be “present and in the moment” then shower her with material things. She wants to know “what you’re thinking.” She’s a never-ending challenge. It takes a certain type of warrior to commit to this undertaking. Thus, the search for my warrior continues…..

Strong Women Wear…


Write Your Own Story…..


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Wise Words….


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Dear: My best guy friend…


Written by Author, Dear Thor

****THIS IS THE EXACT EMAIL I SEND TO MY BEST GUY FRIEND. I THOUGHT SINGLE GIRLS IN THEIR 30’S MIGHT BE ABLE TO RELATE.****

Dear My Best Guy Friend: Actually scratch my “whatever” comment I’m making a real effort not to be passive aggressive in 2013. Ok, you already know how extra special crazy I get every year on my birthday.

I feel like I made a really big effort to make sure you had a special birthday. Do you remember how many hours you and I logged in discussing and planning for YOUR birthday?? I broke a frigging finger in pre-game (when picking up your birthday present and the stack of frames fell on top of me at the framing store). But even with a broken finger I still went water rafting for your birthday! Because missing your birthday wasn’t even a possibility. I took pictures, gave you presents, posted on Facebook, screamed Happy Birthday every 5 minutes etc. On Sunday, you have NO idea how much physical pain I was in because of the stupid finger but I never once said one word I took a vicodin and powered through. I did whatever.

So do you know why I did that?

Because I think that being single on birthdays is ONLY tolerable when good friends are willing to shoulder the extra burden.

So is it unfair?

ABSOLUTELY!

And does that mean that my best friends are basically punished because of my personal choice to be single?

Um yeah! What are you new around here or something? But, it is what it is! Everyone else seems to get it. I don’t believe friendships should be tit-for-tat. I do so much for my friends. I don’t keep tabs with the exception of 1 day out of every year.

Ok, you say you have work dinners and can’t attend. Fine, u know me, I don’t care, I’m the only girl who thinks all hedge fund business should come before G-d and Country. Literally. Dude-my beef with you is just make the effort.

So, is it possible that I’m overreacting about this?

Yes. Of course. I mean, have you met me?

And the reality is you are a dear friend to me the other 364 days of the year. Ok, I’ve said my piece. Just, next year DO BETTER.

Xx Me

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Every woman should have…